生活記事

We wanted to share our Speed Dating success story with you. Every time we tell someone how we met, people always smile and say how great of a story it is so… Here it goes.

On March 23, 2004 I had the opportunity to accompany my friend for a night of PreDating. I had never tried PreDating before but I figured why not? What do I have to lose? The setting was intimate and relaxing. The place was full of single hopefuls in search of that special someone. I had no idea that my life would change forever after that fateful night.

During the break I happened to walk past a table where a nice and tall gentleman was standing with his friend whom I had the pleasure of already “PreDating”. They both smiled and we engaged in friendly conversation. I was immediately taken to Ben, the tall gentleman wearing the number “13″. There was something about him. I couldn’t wait to talk with him one-on one. This was the perfect setting for that. The break soon ended and we took our respective seats for the remainder of the event. When Ben sat down for us to formally meet, I couldn’t help but say, hey lucky 13! He laughed and agreed. We had the opportunity in the few minutes we were given to establish a lasting impression on each other. We knew we would see each other again. It was as instant as that. Sure enough, we went out that very same weekend and had an amazing time.

After 6 months, we are still together and very much in love. We owe it all to PreDating! PreDating was different than the others as there was no pressure and the environment was casual and fun. Thanks PreDating!!!

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I attended a SpeedDating gathering in Miami (age group 35-45) in search of a connection. As a single, 31 year old professional in search of both intellectual and physical stimulation in a city where the median age is 23, finding a mature, responsible, kind, value driven partner was difficult. After much consultation with a co-worker, I decided to take action and to venture to the PreDating event. I figured at minimum I would enjoy the experience of “interviewing” 12 prospects. Six minutes seems short but truly is enough time to decipher whether or not your spirit and intuition tells you would like more than 6 minutes with this person.

After about 36 minutes, and 6 prospects later, my goal was achieved and I had found a connection with a blue eyed, physically fit, attractive 40 year old who within 6 minutes caught my attention, interest and curiosity. That evening I selected him and no other candidate, that is how strong my attraction was to him.

It is now 6 weeks later and we are a couple in early stages of exploration, relationship building and bonding. Our connection is spiritual and the words truly can’t describe how two people completely opposite in many ways can meet over a 6 minute encounter and then decide proactively to spend every weekend together. We are truly excited about our potential future together and are extremely grateful for taking the 6 minute risk.

The irony of our connection is we would have never met if we did not take the proactive route to place ourselves in an environment of choice. Clubs, bars, bookstores are all over-rated environments for women to truly encounter high-potential prospects. My advice to all the fabulous single women out there who work hard and succeed in heir professional lives but maybe are challenged in their romantic life is to give PreDating a shot. The experience is rewarding, great for the ego and more importantly it will foster optimism that there are sensitive, kind, attractive single men in the world over 30 who want more than just “you know what.”
Thanks again!

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Her Story:

I was ready for someone to share my life with after having been widowed for about five years. I registered online for the October 2004 Speed Dating Event and went with a friend. I met a lot of very nice men, but no one that I really connected with that night. The holidays came and went and in the new year, I decided that I would register again for an event. I thought it was rather mean to hold it the day after Valentine’s Day, but registered anyway!

I met a very nice man downstairs before the event and was excited when he was the first person at my table! We talked for our six minutes and I knew I wanted to talk with him more. Although I met other men that night, I didn’t connect with anyone like I did with #10 – Jeff. The next morning I received my email - Jeff was a match! We spoke by phone and emailed before meeting for dinner the next week. We were soon talking by phone or email every day and I knew I wanted us to spend our lives together. I feel so blessed to have met Jeff and to have him in my life.

His Story:

I made a New Year’s resolution to “Get a Life.” Didn’t really want a “girlfriend” and for sure not a “wife,” just someone talk to outside of work besides my cat. Didn’t think about it for a while then one morning before leaving for work, one of the local television stations had an interview with someone from Pre-Dating Events. I though “why not” and got on the computer and registered. How appropriate that the event was scheduled for the day after Valentines Day!

The evening was something that I never thought I could or would do, but I’m sure glad I did. The first six minutes was spent with this one person that really left an impression on me. The other nine people I spent six minutes each with were ok, but my mind kept thinking of that Number Ten.

The next morning I got my Pre-Dating Match e-mail. There it was…..Number Ten…..Teresa!!!!! We had our first date the following week at an Italian restaurant and afterwards decided to make plans for a second. The second date was two weeks later; we went to her pecan orchard with her two kids and picked up sticks! After many dates later, I decided that I wanted to be with her always and forever. I went to Pre-Dating looking for a friend, got something better, a wife who is a friend. She is truly my “Match.”

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I met Ed at my first Speed Dating session. We both picked friends and we talked on the phone. He has a bunch of motorcycles and was going to take me on a ride. But we both are really busy. I also turned him down one night to go out with another guy I had met at the Pre-Dating event, who actually turned out to be his friend. Then we got hit with the 4 hurricanes, and it was not a great time to go on a motorcycle ride. So we lost touch.

I then went to another Pre-Dating session, which are a lot of fun by the way, and as I was about to leave when Ed walked in. He was going to participate in the next Pre-Dating session for an older age group. He asked me to take a ride and I said yes.

On our first date he picked me up and I was dressed for a nice afternoon spin. He suggested going to Daytona, and I said, “ok.” Well, we ended up staying the night there, and we had our first kiss the next day on the beach.

About a month later and a bunch of dates with him being Mr. persistent, I had a week off which was open. My original plans had fallen through. Ed was going up to North Carolina and I asked him if I could come. We had the most awesome time. We drove all over North Carolina, Tennessee and a few other states. We never stayed in one place for more then one night, and we pulled the Harley off the truck and went riding about once a day.

7 months later I am really crazy about him and he is the same about me. We are going to Scotland together in June and spending as much time together as possible.

Thanks Pre-Dating. I would never have met a guy like Ed without your help.

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First of all–Go. If you’ve never been speed dating, go.  It is one of the most fun evenings I’ve had in London.  If you are moving to a new city, do speed dating your first week.  You will meet lots of interesting men for dating, but also (and just as important) women to be friends with.  In fact, they should do speed dating for married couples to meet married couples to be friends with. 

Advice #1:  Don’t eat a samosa from the Pakistani store before you go speed dating.  I was desperate and this was a mistake.  About an hour in I started burping this garlic/chicken/fried food breath.  That under a layer of red wine was hard to hide and not impressive.  Not full on burps, not belchs, but burpettes–if you will.  You know what I’m talking about.  Eat bland food, but do eat. 

Advice #2:  Don’t get drunk.  The woman next to me did not score too many points when she yelled out after three dates, “Come on, give us a break.  I need another drink.”   After the break she came back to the table with two glasses of wine and claimed to one date, “Oh no, this is lemonade.”  Wine, soda, wine, soda. 

Advice #3:  Go alone.  It’s okay, you can.  It was like going to my first open mike in Chicago.  Walking into a bar and knowing everyone is there for the same purpose–to date you.  Eeek.  Women go in large intimidating groups and men go alone.  I scored bravery points for going alone and didn’t have to worry about my friends having dated the same men I had.  Besides, you will make friends quickly–so why not make new friends instead of compete with your current friends for men.

As nervous as I was, it was a good feeling to be in a bar, look around and think to yourself, “I am going to meet all of these guys tonight.  Every single one.”  I would be lucky to chat up one or two guys in a night, okay one, so meeting 22 was astronomical.  The men were all older, I think, and all professionals.  There was a pilot, a surgeon, and lots of IT professionals.  The women were also quite good looking, but no one was intimidating in their beauty and none of the men were too good looking to talk to.  Not that there weren’t a lot of handsome men.  Then at the same time, if a male model had walked in–you would have the same three minute date with him that you had with everyone else and a fair shot at liking or disliking him.  Also–the women were generally tall–lots of tall women who wanted a tall man.  I was the only one who said, “I don’t mind if he’s not taller than me.”  No really, I don’t. 

Of all the guys, only one was a creep and all the women thought he was a creep.  Thinking about it, he might have been taking the mick–but he might have been a creep as well.  He yelled at me for my choices of favorite movies, saying that “When Harry Met Sally,” was not even a good movie, let alone one of the all time best films. 

My favorites were the three I got to talk to for longer.  Ray–the scottish guy who had traveled a lot in the states and in south america.  I met him before the event, so I’m worried he won’t “tick” me because I might have fallen into the catagory of his girlfriends who came with him.  And I was making a comment afterwards about guys who go to the gym, forgetting that he goes to the gym.  Robert–at the very end of the night, I found out that Robert is an avid swing dancer and jazz afficianando.  If you are a swing dancer, mention that up front.  I was impressed earlier when I found out he’d done some serious traveling.  I talked to the guys a lot about travel, after they asked me about my accent.  Finally David.  We cheated.  He was after a break, so we got like 5 or maybe 6 extra minutes.  He had a good sense of humor and did not go into a coma when I started talking about the history of Tetris.  Although his life closely resembles a Dilbert cartoon, I’d certainly hang out again.

Some guys had QUESTIONS to ask in rapid fire and others were nervous.  Everyone feels quite silly, but at the same time it is a lot of fun.  After the 22 dates, we sat around and gossiped about what guys said what and talked to other men.  The guys gave us their reviews of the women and the event.  Everyone agreed that Simon was quite nice and Sam was quite handsome.  What about the brothers from Southhampton. 

Later today I will get my instructions on making ticks and will find out if I have any matches.  But, if you are ever wondering, “Should I or shouldn’t I?”  You should and you should go now.

In May of 2000 I took a class at the San Francisco JCC taught by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, Speed Dating Founder. That evening changed my life. I learned a new way of dating. However, the traditional way of dating was only new to me. My first step was to change one thing about myself, I did. I used to get really excited for people when they told me stories and I would complete there sentences and words for them. It might not sound too bad, but it was something that a few people had brought to my attention, so I decided to focus on that and change it, fix it. I don�t do that anymore.

Next, I had to really define who I was. I asked myself very direct intentional questions, about my values and beliefs. That provided me with a lot of clarity about myself, which is essential in having a relationship with myself or someone else.

Then, I got my dating goals in order. I waited to marry a professional Jewish Man who is Family oriented, wants children of his own, and is into personal and spiritual growth.

Then I got a team in place. My team was made up of my sister, who is happily married for 10 years, and a colleague of mine who is an engineer and his so logical it�s hard to argue with him. Both understood and appreciated the framework that Rabbi Deyo taught us and both had my dating goals. This was great to have a team because if I deviated from my goals then they were right there to help give feedback to bring me back to my goals.

At last, I was ready to date. I utilized every opportunity of an introduction to practice my screening of potential dates. I asked direct intentional questions and I was prepared and felt confident and tooled. Many people took me more serious when I started asking direct and hard questions. I think that many appreciated the quality of the conversation. It was great, the flakes would flake off which meant that I was screening well. I didn�t look at the screening process as rejection, I looked at it as screening potential suitors.

If a man passed my screening process, then I went on a date or tow with him, just for coffee or ice cream, and only to talk. I wanted to see if we liked each other. If I felt myself moving forward to hear what he was saying. If he was doing the same, that was great sign that we liked each other.

On the fourth date, I would test character. Most often I would �accidentally� make an error with the dinner reservations. We would find ourselves, mid-week, right after work, at a restaurant that was slammed and arrive 30 minutes before our reservation. I would admit to the mistake, and apologize right then and there. What I was looking for was for someone who would fix the problem and try to help cover my embarrassment. Most didn�t and some even made me feel more foolish, which helped define their character rather quickly. Only one guy passed that �character test�. I�m now married to him. His response was, that�s ok let�s tell the hostess that we are here now and if they can us early, if not then we will wait in the bar, are you hungry? We can order appetizers if you want?

Then as per my team, they suggested that I see him at work, interact with colleagues, secretaries, supervisors, etc. That will give a pretty good indication of his character as well. So I would have lunch plans with him and show up a little early to check in on him. He was always surprised but glad to see me and since he wasn�t expecting me for a while, he wasn�t prepared. Good, that�s what I wanted. I would always tell him, that I missed him and couldn�t wait to see him, that was true.

About three months into our courtship over dinner he told me how much he liked me and saw a future with me. I said yes I know, but I need to meet your Family. So the next weekend we flew to see his Family. Every Family member that I could interview, I did. I used the screening process and asked questions. His parents loved talking about him, and I lea4rned that his musical interest stemmed from his brother and he was taught to play guitar form his brother. I learned about him through photos, and stories, and his troubles growing up.

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Six months after we met, Rod proposed to me and I said yes, We got married 6-13-01. We both agree that we are off to a good start and are both willing to put in the hard work that it takes to make our marriage healthy.

Jonathan and I had met once, very briefly, at the 1999 Aish HaTorah Annual Banquet. We parted ways without having exchanged numbers or spending more than a few moments chatting. We both figured that we had seen the first and last of each other, but we were mistaken. Four days later, we separately dragged ourselves to Speed Dating, our desire to stay home on the couch beaten down by a nagging internal voice that insisted we seek our soulmates outside of our living rooms. Since both Jonathan and I are obsessed with punctuality, we found ourselves meeting again on the bench in front of Peet’s Coffee, 20 minutes before SpeedDating even began.

Within 10 minutes he had told me that he was tired of dating and was looking to get married. He then asked for my phone number, afraid of missing his second chance. Technically, you’re not supposed to exchange numbers at SpeedDating. But since the event had not yet even begun….

Once SpeedDating started we found that, due to the number of people attending, we never did get paired together. (Consider that a plug for mingling both before and after these events!) Both of us ended up with a few other matches, but once we went out with each other four days later, our fates were sealed. We found out that not only had we both been involved in Aish HaTorah for a few years without meeting, but that we lived two blocks apart, had stood in line together for our passports six years earlier, and had gone to the same pediatrician as children. We were engaged after five months and married five months thereafter. And the rest, as they say, is history.

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Steve: I was new to the area and had no idea what SpeedDating was when I found it on a local website calendar for Jewish singles. I was looking for a venue to meet new people, not really thinking of finding my match. When I called to register and the concept was explained to me, I couldn’t help but think it would be an incredibly odd evening and didn’t expect much. On the evening of April 13, 2000, I had seven, seven-minute dates.

Jenny: My girlfriend is the Program Director for the local Aish Center. She told me that a new event would be coming and asked me attend she needed help! I had certainly had my fill of blind dates and was not looking forward to attending. I ducked in to the areas first SpeedDating event that night with groceries in my car. I had very low expectations.

Both: Imagine our surprise when we met that night. Dreamy eyed, coy like schoolchildren, star crossed lovers all of that. We became inseparable and Steve proposed after four months. Our wedding is coming up and we can’t thank SpeedDating enough; without that event, we wouldn’t have met! We often recant the story to our friends, encouraging them to go and try it. When we host SpeedDating in our area, we explain to people that though you may be over the blind date scene, this is a terrific way to meet a variety of people in a short space of time. In fact, we have found that each time we host, 80% of the people have never tried it; we recommend you go to many events to increase your odds of meeting someone wonderful!

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“I just wanted to thank Blink a million times for your help in finding my soul mate! Richard and I met on the 6th of September 2004 and it’s been a terrific love story since that day! I moved in just 3 months later! It was for both of us our first speed dating experience and it was at the Stellar bar in

Melbourne. I had discovered Blink through the internet and Richard just went there to follow a friend of him. The evening was well organised : yummy finger food, 2 free drinks and a very friendly hostess. That helped all of us to relax ! I talked to Richard only towards the end of the evening, he was the second or third last on my card. I didn’t have noticed him before. We talked non-stop for the 6 minutes allocated, and both found it sooooo short and wanted to know more about the other. We caught up at the end of the speed dating, talked more, laughed and admitted that we both ticked each other’s number on the card in order to have our details exchanged the next day. What will stay in my mind forever is what the hostess said when we left. She took my number 6 sticker and his number 4 and swap them around, saying ‘you two, it’s gonna work - you’ll tell that story to the kids!’ We both looked at each other, smiling, and YES it worked very well indeed. We just celebrated our 15 months together few days ago. We are both very happy and thankful to Blink for bringing us together. There would have been no chances for us to met otherwise, leaving in different area and having different hobbies. Good luck to all single souls out there. Give Blink a go!”

“HE doesn’t respect my work,” B.K. says to me about a man whose name she can’t actually remember. Referred by a friend, he called B.K. to ask her out on a speed dating. She was not available all weekend, she told him, because she had a project due on Monday and needed to work.

 ”And he was like, ‘Oh, you have to eat sometime,’” B.K. reports. “And, ‘You sure you don’t want to take a break for dinner?’”

 I’m jutting my chin forward waiting for the part where he doesn’t respect her work. It turns out that the story is already over.”Can you believe that?” she says. “Why would I go out with someone who does not respect my work?”

“Sit down, sister,” I say. “He doesn’t know what the heck your job even is!” I say. “This has nothing to do with your work. He wanted to take you out to dinner. He wanted to meet you. What is your problem?! You’re blaming some stranger for your inability to say yes to a date,” I say.

 ”You don’t have to yell at me,” she says.

When was the last time B.K. went out on a speed dating? I can’t even remember. Why is she hiding? I put these questions to her, but she keeps going back to Mister-Name-She-Can’t-Remember.

“I’m not sure I liked his phone manner,” she says. “And I never have luck with Jewish men. And it just rubbed me the wrong way that he didn’t respect my work.”

Oh, brother. I put my fingers in my ears and shout, “La! La! La!” until she shuts up. “There is something else going on,” I say. She surrenders, nods. She says she doesn’t understand why she feels so scared. “So go out with the guy and find out,” I suggest. Five days later, I get a phone call from B.K. “OK, I went out with him last night,” she says bluntly. “His name is David.” “Oh, my God!” I say. “Oh, my God! Oh, my God!”

“It wasn’t like that,” she says.

 ”OK, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much did you like him?”

“I’m gonna say 5,” she says. “But that’s not the point. This was a much, much bigger deal than either you or I anticipated.”

 I ask her to please walk me through the evening. 3She tells me she ordered pork. “I wanted him to know right off the bat what kind of Jew I am,”4 she says. He ordered the sea bass. He started filling her in on his background, his kids, his two divorces. Then, he asked if she wanted to say anything about her own romantic history.

She wondered what to tell him and found herself beginning a sentence this way: “For the past two years, I’ve been kind of busy with …” She caught herself. She nearly choked. She was about to attempt a leap across an abyss that had not been named or even identified. Should she finish the sentence?

“And I thought what the hell,” 5she tells me. “And I said, ‘For the past two years, I’ve been busy battling breast cancer.’”