Successful Story for Speed Dating 3
In May of 2000 I took a class at the San Francisco JCC taught by Rabbi Yaacov Deyo, Speed Dating Founder. That evening changed my life. I learned a new way of dating. However, the traditional way of dating was only new to me. My first step was to change one thing about myself, I did. I used to get really excited for people when they told me stories and I would complete there sentences and words for them. It might not sound too bad, but it was something that a few people had brought to my attention, so I decided to focus on that and change it, fix it. I don�t do that anymore.
Next, I had to really define who I was. I asked myself very direct intentional questions, about my values and beliefs. That provided me with a lot of clarity about myself, which is essential in having a relationship with myself or someone else.
Then, I got my dating goals in order. I waited to marry a professional Jewish Man who is Family oriented, wants children of his own, and is into personal and spiritual growth.
Then I got a team in place. My team was made up of my sister, who is happily married for 10 years, and a colleague of mine who is an engineer and his so logical it�s hard to argue with him. Both understood and appreciated the framework that Rabbi Deyo taught us and both had my dating goals. This was great to have a team because if I deviated from my goals then they were right there to help give feedback to bring me back to my goals.
At last, I was ready to date. I utilized every opportunity of an introduction to practice my screening of potential dates. I asked direct intentional questions and I was prepared and felt confident and tooled. Many people took me more serious when I started asking direct and hard questions. I think that many appreciated the quality of the conversation. It was great, the flakes would flake off which meant that I was screening well. I didn�t look at the screening process as rejection, I looked at it as screening potential suitors.
If a man passed my screening process, then I went on a date or tow with him, just for coffee or ice cream, and only to talk. I wanted to see if we liked each other. If I felt myself moving forward to hear what he was saying. If he was doing the same, that was great sign that we liked each other.
On the fourth date, I would test character. Most often I would �accidentally� make an error with the dinner reservations. We would find ourselves, mid-week, right after work, at a restaurant that was slammed and arrive 30 minutes before our reservation. I would admit to the mistake, and apologize right then and there. What I was looking for was for someone who would fix the problem and try to help cover my embarrassment. Most didn�t and some even made me feel more foolish, which helped define their character rather quickly. Only one guy passed that �character test�. I�m now married to him. His response was, that�s ok let�s tell the hostess that we are here now and if they can us early, if not then we will wait in the bar, are you hungry? We can order appetizers if you want?
Then as per my team, they suggested that I see him at work, interact with colleagues, secretaries, supervisors, etc. That will give a pretty good indication of his character as well. So I would have lunch plans with him and show up a little early to check in on him. He was always surprised but glad to see me and since he wasn�t expecting me for a while, he wasn�t prepared. Good, that�s what I wanted. I would always tell him, that I missed him and couldn�t wait to see him, that was true.
About three months into our courtship over dinner he told me how much he liked me and saw a future with me. I said yes I know, but I need to meet your Family. So the next weekend we flew to see his Family. Every Family member that I could interview, I did. I used the screening process and asked questions. His parents loved talking about him, and I lea4rned that his musical interest stemmed from his brother and he was taught to play guitar form his brother. I learned about him through photos, and stories, and his troubles growing up.
Successful Story for Speed Dating 7
Successful Story for Speed Dating 6
Successful Story for Speed Dating 5
Successful Story for Speed Dating 4
Successful Story for Speed Dating 2
Successful Story for Speed Dating 1
Six months after we met, Rod proposed to me and I said yes, We got married 6-13-01. We both agree that we are off to a good start and are both willing to put in the hard work that it takes to make our marriage healthy.